March 19, 2026
So your home is multilingual -
There’s a rich mix of languages, each with their own time and context, but there’s a big problem:
He responds in the community language, or mumbles a word or two before running away.
It’s a classic issue, and one I’ve faced myself: for many years, I was a passive French speaker. When visiting with family in the summer, I could follow directions and understand conversations, but when asked if I spoke French, beyond oui and non, all I had was un tout petit peu of language to share. It didn’t feel good. In English, I was felt smart and funny, but I couldn’t make jokes in French; I was bored. Even worse, I was boring. I felt like only a fraction of myself.
So what to do?
For a couple of summers, my mother packed me off to spend a month going from cousin to cousin around France. Effective, sure - my family didn’t speak much English at the time, so I had no choice but to immerse - but also emotionally stressful (since my family didn’t speak much English at the time) and it didn’t get me all the way to fluency (see this post about stress for more on why). It’s also simply not a feasible option for many families.
We need ways of giving your child the experience of being a whole person in the target language.
Here’s one habit that can help establish comprehensible immersion, build speech patterns, and develop a habit of saying whatever you want, when you want it without having to send your child overseas.
Unfortunately, the name is quite silly:
We’ll just call it “Circling” for now.
Originally developed by language teachers who were trying to get their teenage boys to be more engaged in class, it involved enticing the kids with sports equipment, giving them a chance to hold on to something physical. But don’t worry, you can use this technique without rummaging through your old football cleats.
The idea is simple, and you can use it in all sorts of play to enrich your kiddos language and build speech habits.
Your job is to ask questions about something, and let your kiddo answer.
Instead of moving on once you’ve asked a question about the subject, ask another question about it. Change your mind, get confused, but always be silly and exaggerated about it. Ask another question, and another, and another - keep circling around it, asking increasingly complex or specific questions.
It goes something like this:
Adult: Do you want a snack?
Yes!
Adult: Do you want a big snack or a little snack?
A BIG snack!
Adult: You want a big snack! How big of a snack do you want? A kinda big snack or a super duper big snack?
A kinda big snack.
Adult: Hmm you want a kinda big snack. Do you want to have a kinda big sweet snack or a kinda big salty snack?
ummmm a salty snack.
Adult: okay…. a salty snack. do you want a kinda big crunchy snack or a kinda big gooey snack?
I wanna crunch snack!
Adult: okay, so you want a kinda big sweet gooey snack or a kinda big salty gooey snack? I forgot!
Silly! I want a kinda big salty crunch snack, please
Adult: Alright, you want a kinda big salty crunchy snack. Okay so are pretzels a salty gooey snack or a salty crunchy snack or a sweet crunchy snack?
um pretzels is crunchy and salty.
Adult: Pretzels ARE crunchy and salty. So you want pretzels?
Yes!
Adult: Why do you want pretzels?
cause they’re salty and crunchy and snacky!
Adult: You want pretzels because they’re salty and crunchy and snacky. Do you want some pudding?
no! I want pretzels
Adult: You want pretzels! Why don’t you want pudding?
Pudding isn’t crunchy and salty, it’s sweet and gooey.
…etc.
There are a few things in circling that make it easier to speak than normal.
You should structure your questions so that your child has always heard a few options in full sentences that they might choose from and say back to you. At the beginning, they can start with the simple, automatic phrases that they already know - yes, no, little, big. Later, they can rely on what they’ve just heard from you if they want to communicate. And after each sentence they say, you say it back to them, making sure that they hear themselves being understood. If they made a mistake (like above, saying crunch instead of crunchy), just say it correctly and move on - don’t point it out! You might notice your little one correct themselves later, but don’t worry if not; the important part is the communication.
Then you can slowly add more complicated grammar. Here, we have adverbs like kinda and the hidden adjective order in English.
You’re simply modeling how to say these more complex phrases, and then giving your child a chance to use that structure right away.
This helps them get a feeling for what works in your language. If you look at the example above, you can see that their responses get increasingly more complex as the conversation moves on.
You’re modeling real life usage of the language to accomplish a real goal. It’s not always necessary to speak in full sentences: often, a single word is enough to communicate the entire idea, and by recasting that single word into the a full sentence, you can help your child understand that they can speak at the right level to get what they need.
That’s it, nothing special and nothing to prepare - just questions, a little silliness and the language you already share with your little one. Try it out and let us know how it goes!